Monday, December 27, 2010

holiday fun

Had a nice Christmas in spite of my last minute change of plans.
Made a mimosa and cinnamon rolls, a family tradition I stuck to in spite of being solo.
Spent the afternoon with my dad's girlfriend's daughter's family.
Tri tip, salad and beans....not very traditional, but super delish.
all in all had a nice time

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

find that spirit where you can...

So, I am still very much in the Christmas happy~love state, but a few things
have changed since I last posted.
First off, my mom is not coming up for the holiday due to this ever so lovely
rainy weather we are having.
Am I yes quite a bit.
Did I once more that would be a yes.
Have I already made plans and moved past it, yes and no.
I will spend part of Christmas day with my dad's gf's daughter & her family. It will be fun as her daughter & hubby have 2 small children who are what this Christmas are all about. The joy they have on their little faces at finding their stockings and presents are so cute to see. I feel like K's family is now a part of mine through her relationship with my dad and thus a new tradition of sorts will be born through all of this.
I am sad though at the loss of time with my mom and hate that once again I let myself be disappointed. We see things in a different light and I doubt my mom even knows just how upset I am at her decision not to come. When we talked I told her not to worry as I had a place to be if she did not come and I understood about the drive, but a huge part of me just wanted her to say
" oh I'll push through it and still come"
On the plus side got a nice surprise today in my cousin popping into my
work unexpectedly due to his new route
(he works for Amtrak)
stopping literally across the street from my work!
Fun as we haven't seen each other in about a year and it helped put my sadness after talking to my mom into perspective.
So, now I have a free day tomorrow ,as I gave away my shift in prep for my mom's visit, with absolutely nothing to do and money to spare....hhhhmmmm.
A movie?
Sushi date with myself?
Bottle of champers and some netflix?
who knows....

Monday, December 13, 2010

it's beginning to look a lot like...

Christmas is my fave holiday.
It stems from great memories of my childhood holidays with all of my family around.
Even in my college years my friends and I made our own little "family" Christmas traditions, exchanging gifts, cookies and doing fun theme parties.
The last couple of years I have spent it with my mom, who doesn't decorate or do much for the "season". This is the first time in 13 years that I am in a new home with enough room to have my tree and lots of decor out.
My mom is coming to spend it with me and I am cooking our holiday meal : )
My house has smelled lovely of late with all of the baking I have been doing.
Cards are almost done, presents under the tree waiting to be wrapped and a heart full of holiday spirit are what i have right now!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

stress relief

I have been doing some art~craft projects of late for stress relief.

I find it nice to "play" with various mediums and see what happens.

Never have I thought of myself as a very artsy type, but maybe I just haven't found my niche.

I am learning to just try, play and see what I happen to create.

The painting above was my first attempt with acrylics.

The frame is a project I made for a friend as a Christmas gift for holding/displaying jewelry.

I saw the idea in a magazine a couple years ago & recently made one for myself. My friend adored the idea so I made her one. Also I inspired my best friends daughters to make her that!
keep playing folks

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I know you
(my 3 big followers - ha ha)
are wondering why on earth I am actually doing 2 posts in one day?
Well, I have had a lot on my mind of late. Been going through a bit of a medical issue.
I am sure it will turn out to be nothing so not talking about it much, but I am getting a bit tired of doctors visits, tests and oh yeah, pain. I have tried to find good stuff in my life to focus on and be thankful for all the blessings I do have.
It really is one of those up & down emotional type of things if you will.
I truly know that for the most part I am blessed.
I have an amazing support system of family, friends and loved ones.
There is a roof over my head, a job I enjoy and enough money made from that job to keep me in food and such.
My health concerns are minor in comparison to what some of my friends and family have going on, so I try to forget about the pain and not be stressed.
My wish for us all this upcoming holiday season is to relax, enjoy our loved ones and appreciate all of the positive within our lives.

running away

This past week I ran away for a vacay to see one of my fab girlfriends from college.
I adore Colorado for the gorgeous scenery, kind people and just being different from California.
We did some wine & chocolate at home with quality girl talk. Shopping of course was also on our agenda as their are so many fun thrift & antique stores in her area. I played with her son who has renamed me Auntie Kristmas (so damn cute) and the adorable, but hyper beyond belief puppies. When I came home I felt refreshed and ready to deal with all of the things that had been bothering me before I left.
I read a quote this am by Marcus Aurelius
"very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking"
I love that...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

good deeds lead to good feelings

I made a decision this year to really enjoy the spirit of Christmas. It is my fave holiday, but I am not going to lie I find myself frustrated by how commercial it has gotten. They jump from Halloween decor to Christmas before Halloween is even finished.
Along with this desire to get back to the purer form of my love for this magical holiday I told my immediate family of my wish for them to donate their time or money to a cause they supported rather than give me a gift.
My dad had heard of a young girl in Mexico that was in need of heart surgery through a non profit run by a man he had met in Baja. He made a donation on my behalf and the letter I received in thanks was enough to make me cry while reinforcing my initial reason for doing this.

Dear Kristin:
There are moments that stop me in my tracks. Your decision to for ego a Christmas gift to give the gift of life to Itzel is already the highlight of this effort to help Itzel. The only that could top it would be a successful operation. I’m sure it will happen. I hope you get chance someday to go to El Rosario and say hello to Itzel. She will likely not recognize you but in her heart, she will know that you are someone special. To me, you are special. I hope to also meet you sometime to thank you in person. It is an honor to know you.
My warmest thanks,
Andy Schouten.
If you are looking to spread your own bit of love and goodwill within the world after reading this than please do. If you wish to help out Itzel I posted the link within this post also.
Happy Holidays to you and yours...may it be filled with love, family and all the blessings you could hope for.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


So, this past weekend was Halloween, which is not my fave is however my sweet girl A's. As I managed to get the day off from work and switch my schedule for the day after I drove down to LA to spend it with her & B at their annual Halloween party. As you can see she gets into the decor big time, so dang cute!

I was a Mexican senorita in the tackiest of ways...using my uniform from my very first ever job at 16 from El Torito.

I had the best time, just relaxing and chatting with the few people I did know there. Playing funny games, carving pumpkins and eating delicious food.

the getaway to spend some time with one of my girls was much needed as I have had a little bit of stress in my life of late and trying to find a good balance.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

so my last blog was about how happy I was...not so much today.
I am feeling quite down & spending the am doing 4 loads of laundry so did not help.
Trying to get my head back into a more positive space.
My life is good...just have to remind myself of that!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

happy is as happy does

You ever have one of those days were you are just happy...for no special reason, just happy.
Well, for me I had one of those today.
The day is nothing special really. I mean I have the day off, but that doesn't make it anything to smile about other than I didn't have to go play nice with the customers. I was woken up by my downstairs neighbor's smoke alarm malfunctioning at 7:15 am.
You would think a start like that on a day I COULD sleep in would put my mood in the downturn, but it was kind of amusing.
I stood around chatting with two of my female neighbors and planning a girls night sometime soon for a bit before heading back upstairs. I did some cleaning, watched a movie, played on FB and just relaxed.
It was cool and dreary outside today and it felt nice to not NEED to go anywhere. I guess it just boils down to finally feeling as if I am at a good place in my life. I love my new home, each day I find something else to like about it. I have amazing friends and family. I have a job that pays all of my essential bills. For the first time in a long time it is not about what I do NOT have and more about what I DO have.
Life is just good.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

oh FB

Just ever so tired of the drama that comes along with social networking these days. It seems as each time I log onto the FB I am seeing posts that "hint" at allegations or accusations...seriously just come out with it and say what you want to?
Is there really such a need to be so passive-aggressive?
I personally use the FB to keep updated with the lives of my friends who do not live near me and the drama just makes me not even want to log on and share my life.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

oh time is a passing

So, I am officially yet another year older.
Not feeling any different, but yet I am inching closer to the big 4-0.
Planning some fun stuff with some of my dearest friends for the year ahead, but right now I am focusing on me...trying to fix some issues within my life. I let things slide in the past year and want to change that. Plus I have my personal goal of being in better physical & financial shape by that next birthday...

Saturday, September 11, 2010


9 years ago today something happened that changed our world.
When I logged onto FaceBook this am most of the updates from friends was about not forgetting. I honestly can't imagine that we have forgotten as most of those I know and love still remember exactly where they were. I was actually working for an airline at the time doing graveyard shifts. We sat in the break room watching the news in disbelief. The people coming into work right then were a mix of those who had just heard & those who found out as they arrived. I went home to immediately call all of my loved ones. I was in shock, trying to wrap my head around this event.
Now, it is 9 years later, I still can't wrap my head around the why of it all.
I am going to take this day as any other to celebrate those that I love, the freedoms I enjoy and the life I am blessed to have.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

latest reads...

Been re-reading the Harry Potter series of late because I own them in HB and felt like if I moved them I should be enjoying them. I also have literally a mountain of books waiting to be read. I do have a slight bit of guilt over the sheer number which are sitting every so patiently for me to get to them. On the other hand, I feel books are to be enjoyed & I should not feel any pressure to read something just for the sole purpose that it has sat for too long, right?
Learning that life truly is short and thus I should do with my reading as I do with most of things in my life, just let go...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

hot, hot, hot

I had a lovely day off yesterday in spite of the evil heat that we are experiencing right now.
I am a wimp who lives where I do as I dislike weather over 85 or so. It had the nerve to be 95 here the last couple of days. Yes, I know it is much worse in other places...however most of those places AC is a standard type of thing....not so much here. I went and bought a fan, allergy meds and frozen yogurt to cope with said heat! Today I am off to take a hike at one of my fave places on the central coast (Montana De Oro) before it gets too hot, then some cleaning of my adorable pad, then work this eve.
Doing good on my quest to be healthier, hit my 20 pound goal and now want to lose another 5 before my birthday next month. Got some fun stuff coming up in the months is starting, going to visit some friends both in & out of state.
Just have to say that I am really enjoying my life of late.

Monday, August 23, 2010

the times are a changing

I am noticing as I get older how my friendships have changed.
Some of it is me in that I choose to have relationships that are ones that give meaning and joy to my life. In years past I would be involved in relationships where I put so much of myself and got very little in return. As a goal to treat myself as well as I did others in my life I made some changes. In doing this I have found that some of those "friends" are becoming less of a factor within my life. It is not that I do not value them, but rather that I am choosing to value myself. I want people within my life that give to me emotionally what I am putting out into the world. It is more about knowing that if I called them with a problem they would be there to listen. Friends who would drop everything if I needed them as would I for them. It is about being present within my life even if they do not live nearby. A card in the mail, a short phone call to check in once a week or month, messages on FB...any little thing that shows you are being thought of.
As someone said it is all about the little things...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

oh how sweet it is...

life is good

nothing more

nothing less

just happy today

and thought I would share

with all 3 of my followers...haha

worked out
made a smoothie
read a magazine
ate some fruit & cheese
then I did my project for the day (see above pic)
organized my jewelry making supplies
now, 3 hours until work, where I hope to make large amounts of money on my shift
then home to watch Project Runway.
Have I mentioned how my life is good?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

do you love your life?

So, how do you feel about your life?
Right now is it more of a FML ( F*@k my life ) or a LML ( LOVE my life ) kind of thing?
At the moment for me as part of my intention to become a happier, healthier me I am choosing to go the LML route. I saw a blog via a friend on FB about this phenomenon and have to say it struck a chord with me.
I came through so much change in the past year and have tried hard to focus upon all that is good within my life. Not going to lie, this is not an easy thing to keep up with as we all have ups and downs in our lives. The trick is to find that silver lining in each cloud that is blocking our sun.
I must say how exceptionally blessed I am with the people within my life that make it ever so easy for me to focus on the brighter side.
My biggest LML at the moment is hitting 20 pounds lost in my quest to lose weight and get healthy. This is only my first goal, but it shows that with patience, exercise and diet I can and will do it!

Monday, August 16, 2010

just one thing...

So, found a blog about a girl who is taking a year to not shop for new clothes, but rather make over thrift store & garage sale finds ( )
I love this idea of trying something new each day.
Trying to think what of my many projects I have put off that i could possibly do...thinking for me it might be working on jewelry pieces that I bought parts for and never finished?
On my part it would most likely be a weekly or monthly project though, not so much a daily blogger as you might have noticed, haha.

Friday, August 13, 2010

such a pretty face

I read a book this morning with that title,
"such a pretty face" by cathy lamb
If you could not have guessed even a little bit from the title it has do do with a woman's self esteem issues. The main character Stevie has had a rough life, with a schizophrenic mother, being over weight and a heart attack while in her early 30's. She has a weight loss surgery to save her life, but still feels like the same fat, insecure girl inside. This book tackles some serious issues: anorexia, abusive family members and love. For me the best part of it was that there was no quick fix to all the problems laid out within it.
There is a scene where she talks about being wheeled down the hall in the hospital on the way to surgery while 2 woman talk about how obese and disgusting she is. She tells them that she has ears and just because she is fat by no means is she deaf. This struck a chord with me as someone who has battled with weight issues. People who are skinnier can sometimes feel as if by someone being overweight we lose our ability to hear when they say unkind words or laugh.
Other peoples words hold so much power of us all.
It doesn't matter if your issue is too much weight, being short, super skinny or tall...we all have feelings. The motto of think before you speak is a good lesson to remember.
I am currently on a path to become healthier. I have a long term goal of losing 100 pounds. Now that right there is sad, scary and exciting all in one simple number. The fact that I need to lose a whole 100 pounds to be considered by the American medical system as healthy is sad and scary to me. The fact that over the course of time I let my weight get away from me to that point is just scary. I think because I am doing this for me this time and not for anyone else in my life it is both easier & harder.
I am the one pushing myself to be better, healthier and yes, happier.
The experience so far has been slow. I started at the beginning of this year with the goal of being in better financial & physical shape by the time I was 40. I have 13 months to reach my goal. In the first 6 months of this year I lost 20 pounds
(yeah seriously YEAH ME!)
The goals I have are to be a stronger, healthier person...not just to fit into society's normal standard of weight or size, though not going to lie it factors in.
For once, just like every other person who is of a larger size, I would like to hear that I am pretty without any sort of a qualifier.
If you just lost a few pounds....
Oh, you were so pretty/skinnier when you were younger...
While the sentiment is nice, it is much nicer for someone to simply say
You are lovely just as you are.
The best compliments I have received of late had little to do with my outer appearance and everything to do with me as a person.
I thank the people who said them to me for they remind me that I am a good person, a loving friend and a happy soul.
To be honest I think I have met very few people who are truly happy with there appearance, but there is no one who is harder on us than ourselves!
My goal through this period of change is to embrace who I am, faults and all.
I want to accept the things about myself that I may not like, change what I can and move forward when I can't.
This sounds so simple...yet it is so hard.
Putting numbers down on a piece of paper,calendar or even on here makes it real.
I can only hope that I have the strength to achieve my goals...even it takes more time that I hope...slow and steady wins the race, right?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

late night deep thoughts and ramblings...

You know what I truly wish...
to see myself as viewed through my friends eyes.
I want to see how I am viewed by others in the world.
How my actions are perceived?
I know the spirit in which things are said or given, but you always wonder if they are taken within that same spirit?
This comes about through some issues I have had with various friends in the past year.
Over the course of my life I have been the one in relationships that tends to give more of myself, and now I want my relationships to become more equal.
In trying to treat myself better I am learning that some of my past relationships, both friendships & romantic were toxic ones for me.
I gave so much of me, that when they ended I was left feeling as if I had lost some pieces of myself.
Not to say that all these relationships were/are bad. I have learned, grown and treasure each experience as it shaped me into the person I am today....which I think is a pretty amazing one.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

sangria is super delish after a long eve of work, or even an not so long evening, teehee

Monday, August 9, 2010

the more things change the more they stay the same...

Do you ever feel like there are just little signs all around you that you just don't notice until something just flat out hits you in your face? I saw a few old friends lately who seemed so amazed at how my life had changed since we last talked. In retrospect I guess there were signs of wanting a change that i saw, but others around me did not. I left a job I had been at for more than half a decade, a house I lived in for more than a decade. I cleansed memories, too many belongings and even some people out of my life in the course of this period of change. It started with the job, a place were I had not been happy for while yet had not taken the advice I give to others that if you don't like where you work then find a place you do. life is too short to be unhappy over things you CAN control. I found myself much happier over all, but frustrated with my money situation. Finally got that back on track only to have the house situation occur. I loved that little beach side cottage...and always will, but in many ways leaving it was the best thing to happen to me. I was cocooning in that small house in a very small town. I had let my belongings take over my home and the sheer amount of things I gave to friends, sold or donated amazed me and yet it felt so freeing.
I am living in a bigger space and my goal is to get rid of even more stuff so I can really enjoy the freedom of that space. I am hopeful that remembering how it was in the old place will help me in this process. Embrace the change...or as someone famous once said " be the change you wish to see in the world"

Sunday, August 8, 2010

is less really more?

I read an interesting article on consumerism and living with less today. It was sent to me via my dad, who is a big believer in these ideas. Well, I am learning to let go, albeit slowly. Just this past weekend I took 2 car loads of my "stuff" to Goodwill. I had a hard time getting rid of some of my more fabulous my stuffed animals. Yes, I am 38 and own stuffed animals, don't judge me. One of the ones I let go was the hippo I got a child from a trip to the San Diego Zoo which when I was losing my teeth I "pulled" the foam teeth from. I also found a strange picture that a boy I dated for like a minute in hs had drawn.
Some of these things I moved countless times and stored in boxes much to my amazement. I am trying very hard in my new space to have the pieces of art, photos, books and furniture be things that inspire memories and/or have function in my everyday life.
Not going to lie that this attempt to live with less is easy in any way, shape or form. However that is not going to stop me from treading forward in my battle. All I know is that the next time I move I would really like it to be easier!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Headed down to San Diego to celebrate my mom's 65th birthday (where does the time go?)
It seems quite strange to go south and not have my bestie to stop and see. I am looking forward to a special day with my mom though. Doing a mini version of Monterey since neither of us could afford the getaway to there right now I am trying my best to re create it! Did a lovely dinner at Benihana this eve ( a place we do when we go to Monterey) and tomorrow it is off to Scripps Aquarium in La Jolla before doing lunch at Monterey Bay Canner's at Oceanside Harbor. Should be fun...might have pics to follow.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

happy day

On this day 39 years ago one of my best friends was born. We have been through so very much over the years and I am truly blessed to have her in my life, good times and bad! Wishing my sweet cmg the happiest of happy days! I love you crazy girl...

Monday, July 26, 2010

OK, so I suck at this whole blogging thing. I do think of lots to say, but find it hard for myself to get to the computer to do it as I am just so busy actually living my crazy life.
This past 3 months has been filled with changes. I have experienced loss of a family member, moved 2 times, travelled to visit family out of state and worked to afford all of it.
I am loving my new place. It has a sense of peacefulness which I love. The location being so close to downtown was not a big draw when I looked at the place, but has become a major plus. ^ blocks to the library, 3 to my bank and 5 to my super close to a variety of food and adult beverage choices!
Now, if I could just get completely unpacked and organized my life would be box at a time, day by day!

Monday, June 21, 2010

letting go

I haven't been writing much on this blog. My life has been a bit crazy, quite a bit of which I hadn't shared though I have blogged, I did not post them. I needed some time to process things on my own. I tend to withdraw a little bit when I am going through major changes...and I think moving after 13 years falls within that category!

My focus of late has been to try and make a better balance within my life. I am eating healthier, working out more and trying to spend time with all of my friends.

Going to look at some apartments today to see what my money will bring me...

Saturday, May 29, 2010


Ok, so it here...

the moment where I break down

I knew it was coming, but it really hit me hard today.

I went to drive out of Avila to head to my temporary housing, but was going to need to come back tomorrow to get the tail end of my stuff. It is Beer Fest here in town in addition to being Memorial Day weekend. This means madness of people, young drunken college kids, families and escapees from the central Valley areas. This year seemed worse than previous years in the crunch of people and cars in that it took me 15 minutes to get from my house to the freeway. Gave me serious flashbacks to the year Unocal put on fireworks on the 3rd of July...madness!

So, in my head I was thinking...ok, I will never have to deal with this again.

Then it hit me, I will NEVER have to do this again. I cried for the entire drive home.

I know deep down that I will come out of this experience in a better place, but the actual process of it is really hitting me hard emotionally. Trying to focus on my positive aspects, but the idea of change is always more fun than the reality of it!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Knowing all I know about this world means nothing when I lose someone dear to me in my life. My sweet uncle passed away today, after a period of illness, but years of health problems. I love that I have great memories of him, as he was an awesome man. A good uncle, brother, son, father, husband who touched many lives. He will be missed. My sadness comes not only from my own feeling of loss, but also seeing my father lose his baby brother. I wish for a better place for Lee where ever he is now, hopefully keeping an eye on his loved ones from there.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

may day may day

So it is the first of May, otherwise known as May Day in some countries and religions.

For me it is the start of a long and stressful month full of changes. I will be leaving my home of 13 years this month and have yet to figure out just where I am going next...

I am trying to embrace all of the good things to come out of this, but not going to lie I have been filled with anxiety over not knowing where these changes will be taking me.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

slow and steady

I am starting to appreciate how easy it is to accumulate stuff and how hard it is to decide what to do with said stuff when you move. I have an amazingly large collection of books, an abundance of glass & pottery collected over the course of many years that are ever so hard to decide what is worth packing...though I am going with "can it be replaced?" I am going to be staying at a smaller place for a couple of months and then who knows where, thus trying to really move as little as possible!
I am amazed at the things that I feel I can't part with, the furniture is easy, but the art& knick knacks are killing me! I have until June 7th, but my goal is to be out of this place by May 31 so it is only about a month to get it all done...oh my.
Just breathe and focus on something each day...that is my mantra!

Monday, April 12, 2010

books, books and more books

omg do have enough yes I do! my goodness I just sorted through my first of 6 bookshelves and found that I was only willing to move about 1/3 of them so far. I have a feeling the books & kitchen stuff will be where I have issues parting with them. trying to look at it as if I can't replace it I can keep hard though!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

housing and packing stress

I am just a little bit stressed about the whole idea of moving. I find myself focusing on the most random of things, having to call to shut off my utilities, finding boxes to pack up all of my "stuff" and of course the biggie....where on earth this next stage of my life will take me. Much to my surprise I am finding that so far the sorting through my stuff has involved letting go of quite a lot. My feeling is this is a chance to let go of baggage, both conceptual & real. I want to be more like my dad who retired to Mexico with the clothes that fit in the saddlebags on his motorcycle (with a few boxes stored under my house) though to be realistic I know I am not able to let go of that much!
It is a great thing to strive for though...ok, back to packing boxes.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


So, I found out today via certified letter that my landlord feels my house needs a major overhaul and I have 2 months to find a new place to live.
I would say this is a shock, but it would be a lie as they had not responded to my calls in regards to a leak in my roof. My thought was that they were either going to fix it & raise my rent or do this. The big thing is that I have been here for close to 13 years and it seems so surreal to be packing up my many belongings and finding a new home.
The possibilities are endless though. I can stay within my same town, move somewhere else locally, or move out of state.
so many things to think about & options to weigh...

Sunday, March 21, 2010

letting go...

I am working on my intention
(I just think most of us break resolutions so I like this terminology better)
for the new year to be a happier, healthier me. Thus in the spirit of that I have been working on decreasing the clutter in my house. I am amazed at the sheer number of books I own. I always knew it was a lot, but oh my. Currently I have 4 bags sitting by my door, 1 is going to a friend for her reading pleasure, 2 more are for the yard sale and the last is being taken to the local hospital as a donation. I love the feeling of letting go of this stuff, yet knowing that someone else will find joy from it.
Another thing I am doing is trying to change some habits I have that are not as good as they could be. I feel like I spend too much time playing on my computer when I could be exercising or spending time with those in my life who matter to me. In the spirit of that I deleted my twitter account. I basically use it to complain about stuff and part of my intention is to focus on the positive so why have it. As you might have noticed I haven't been blogging quite as much these days, but want to still have an outlet for my crazy thoughts so I will be popping on every once in a while still.
This week I am going to attempt a mini cleanse to get back into a healthier diet.
To be honest the foods I will be eating is how we should all eat every day.
It is fruits, veggies, lean proteins and no processed foods.The bottom line is if it comes from a package you shouldn't eat it. The hardest part will be the sweet stuff, I am only allowed 1 ounce of dark chocolate per day.
We shall see how the week goes.

Friday, March 12, 2010

1/2 update

my attempt to clean out my house of some it's clutter and pass along my items to charity is slowly going. My friend will be having a yard sale in a month or so to benefit the American Cancer Society and thus far I have given her a wall shelf and 12 bags of assorted household items. I went through all of my books
(anyone who knows me realizes just how big of a deal that was)
and passed along in some manner my duplicate copies or books that have sat for much too long!
Next step is under the bed and my DVD collection, wish me luck

Monday, February 22, 2010

the half project, my version

I read an article about this family who decided to stop taking & start giving. They sold their million dollar home, purchased a smaller one at half the price and gave $80,000 to charity.
I love to hear about this sort of thing.
I don't have much financially to give, but I do have quite a bit in the way of possessions.
I am doing a major cleaning of my home this year, a true spring cleaning, and have found for me it is not so much about making money as it is being free of those items that have been hiding under the bed or in the closet.
I want to own my possessions, not have them own me.
side note here, if you have never heard George Carlin's bit on stuff....check it out!
I found some things I of course will keep, like my photos and fave books, but also found lots of stuff I do not know why I felt the need to hold onto.
My goal is to have at least 2 bags of items going to a local thrift store, homeless shelter or just given away via freecycle to someone who needs it each week until I am purged of all of it.
wish me luck as this is going to be a major undertaking for me.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


I feel like I am changing, evolving...though into what I am not entirely sure.
My friends are in different places than they were and also in different places than I am. I am happier than I have been in forever, yet am wishing for more. Why on earth are we never satisfied?
We want to have more money, less weight, bigger and better everything.
What will this do for us?
I know for me a bigger house would just mean I had to spend more money to live in it and I would probably fill it with even more stuff I didn't need.
Someone once said to me when you are thinking of moving do not ask what can't you live without, but rather what can you live with? What do you need to be comfortable and survive?
I need a bed, some books, comfy clothes and blankets. I need my friends, I need my family, I need a job that makes me happy & pays me enough to pay those necessary bills.
Oh, wait...I have all of that!
So, what do I have to complain about?

Friday, February 19, 2010

So, in my massive cleaning undertaking I found a huge amount of photos from the past decade. I worked at the same restaurant job for most of it, 2002-2008, and had some amazing times that were over shadowed by how bad it was at the end. Finding these pics made me remember the better times, the fabulous people I met through there and the fun experiences.
I posted almost 200 pics on FB as many of my old crew is on there & I felt they would enjoy it also...and they did.
The funniest thing to come of it for me though was having a couple of people ask me to take off a certain pic of them as they felt they looked fat or ugly in it. Got to say while I did that for them, if I did that with every pic of me from the past 2 decades I did not like
there might be about 5 pics total.
Why is it that we are never satisfied with ourselves. We always want to be skinnier, have a better job, nicer house etc.
I am trying to live in the now. Be happy with the things I have, including this body of mine. Is it in the best shape it could be? no. Am I working on making it better, thus me better by being a healthier, and possibly happier me? yes.
One thing I will say is that regardless of what I weighed in these pics I found, I was happy in them. That means more to me at this point in my life than anything else so I am letting go of all the rest!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

out damn spot

I am taking today to do a major house cleaning. Opened up the windows to let the sun in, cranked up some tunes and dug in. At a stopping point right now due to there being a load in both the washer & dryer at the moment so thought I'd pop off a lil blog action, go me.
It is always amazing to me how when you are doing a big clean like this your house can look even worse as you do it. I mean currently I have bedding piled on my couch, clothes all over the bed and luggage from my trip last month waiting to be put away in the closet.
If I had to walk away right now for any reason I would be quite embarrassed for anyone else to see this place!
On the positive side of things I do see the light at the end of this cleaning tunnel. I have 3 bags of stuff I want to donate sitting by my front door and have a box of books ready to go out in the post today, which means less in Mt. TBR.
I will get fresh sheets to sleep on this eve and the smell that comes from a clean home after my ever so long 4 hour shift at work.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

silver and gold

There is a saying about friends being either silver or gold, new or old. I have a friend that is a huge part of my life as she has been a part of it for so long. We went through first kisses, driving & first cars, high school with all of it's dramas, boys, clothing fads, drinks, graduation, college, marriage and babies (those the last two were all her!)
There are have been great times and some that were hard. We always come through it all stronger than ever. I just drove the 5 hour distance between us for one last day of spending time just the two of us as within 2 weeks she is moving out of state. It meant the world to me to get some time for us to just be together, no big party or night out of drinking. We sat on the couch went shopping and to the beach, ate, talked and just were there enjoying each other's company.
I know that while we will not be able to see each other as often, we have a special bond which will not disappear with even more distance being put between us.
I love my sweet cmg and will start saving my pennies for a visit to the "wilds" of Montana.

Friday, February 12, 2010

falling to pieces

I thought the whole having your body fall to pieces thing happened when you got older, like 50 older not 38! This has been a strange 6 months for me medically. While I have always had a bout of bronchitis or strep each year, from childhood is kind of my norm this year it kicked in hard. In the last 6 months though I have had in the following order; kidney infection, kidney infection, ovarian cyst, bronchitis then damage to my chest wall from coughing so much while having said bronchitis, now I managed to jack up my shoulder somehow and still have a cough after weeks of meds and rest.
I mean really? What the chatta? I am taking multi-vitamins again for the first time in years, also melatonin for sleeping better.
(which is AMAZING, I mean I am actually sleeping a full 7-8 hours each night...crazy talk)
Also my diet is much more on track than in previous times, but yet my body still has issues and is trying to fall apart...well ain't gonna happen man. I am bound and determined to have this be my year of treating this body of mine better & it needs to return the favor!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

um, yeah

so I basically suck at being online enough to blog on a regular basis...I have 4 half finished blogs saved from the past month and with all my free time of late have been working on making them complete.
Why do I have so much free time you ask? oh well it has to do with not taking care of myself enough and getting much sicker than a person needs to. I am looking at a 6 week period of healing and under orders to rest as much as possible. um, we shall see how that works for me.

Friday, January 22, 2010

friends come and go

I have been sad this past month since I got news that my best friend was moving out of state.
I know we will still talk on the phone & touch base through the lovely social media of facebook, but it is still a big change. She is moving to Montana of all places...and I do get why. Finances, family and a need for change. All valid and to be honest I left first and shouldn't be upset that she is following my lead of change. I never gave any thought to my friends when I made my choices to move, be it from where I live now to go back to San Diego for college or my decision to return here after college.
I know that I will make the effort to go see her, it is just that the ease of seeing her is being taken away. She currently lives in the town in which we went to hs, where my mom still lives. I could combine seeing my family and hers in one trip that was a reasonable drive to do.
I will be going down to see her for one last hurrah sometime in the next month before the big move. A chance to run around to some of our fave places and make even more lasting & lovely memories. I will savor those as things from this point on will change, only the future will tell what lies ahead, but I know that she will remain in it although much further away.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

new year new start

I plan on focusing in on making me into a better person this year.
Now this is not about resolutions, such as losing weight or getting a better job or out of debt....though these things might occur.
Rather it is about finding what makes me a happier, better person.
I want to look at the glass as half full, not half empty.
I want to feel as if I am the one in control of my life, not others.
I want friends and family around me that support me, helps me celebrate all of the good in my life & theirs. and gives a hand or shoulder in the bad times.
I wish for brighter times and good memories to come from them.
I wish this for myself and those I love surrounding me.
I plan on making changes that might make some around me question, however it is my life to live and I want it to be the best one I can be living.
It is time to purge myself of the people who doubt me or bring me down.
Purging my house of items that have no use or just not used is also in the cards.
Reading many of the books upon my shelves and working on my garden are on this list also.
So many things and so much time to attempt them....