uuuggghhh

just having a not so fab day and a little stresses.
this too shall pass...right?

guess it is good news?

So, my doctors visit yesterday seemed to go well. I am to go back for yet another ultrasound in May and then come see the doc again. He thinks it has gotten slightly smaller in size which is good. Basically they think it is fine, but seeing as I have had problems in the past we are being cautious. It is not a simple cyst, but rather a complex one...which can be cancerous...thus the concern.

All I know is the whole experience has been stressful & costly.

On the other hand I was down a few pounds from my last office visit which is always happy news!

yippee

So, this am I went through all of my clothes trying on things I do not wear as often and discovered I am down another size. I am (super) slowly getting to where I want to be. I have a fun plastic tote under my bed that comes out once a month for me to try on my smaller clothes. I get so excited when I can pull something out of it and today I found a pair of pants that used to be laughably tight to be a perfect fit. WOOHOO

I am starting to celebrate the small steps along the journey. I didn't gain this weight all at once & I sure as heck am not losing it all at once. I haven't posted a pic in a bit and maybe sometime soon I will for an update.

Right now it is time to get a workout in before heading to my big doctor's appt. Hoping to get good news from this one, but we shall see!

Have a fab day everyone!



sleep where are you...

Yippee, the joy that is insomnia has struck me once again this week. This round it is staying up much too late & waking before the sun arises. Not so fun really. Plus your mind fills with the most trivial details in the wee morning hours and you have no one to share them with....thus I am blogging (haha)
I am kick starting my workout routine this week...I am a strange reason for this that I am not sharing with you, but it is a great shove to my motivation level. At the same time as this round of insomnia I seem to have lost most of my desire to eat. I have been having lots of stomach issues after eating of late so my diet is rapidly becoming quite boring. I pushed it and had sushi last night, which while it tasted amazing did not make me happy in the long run. I head back to the doc this week to see if we have to do a biopsy or not. Maybe all of this is stress related and I will be better after the visit? I sure hope so!

blog vs journal

I have been doing quite a lot of writing of late, but in my old school paper

journal rather than on my blog.

Why might you ask? After all are they not the same thing at the heart?

It is the same basic idea...however there are some things I do not feel comfortable

putting out there for all to read. I may only have 4 followers according to this site, but I

have friends who pop on here and there to check it out and some of the things

I needed to talk about may have upset or even offended them.

I have been quite emotional since the beginning of the year due to a dear friend

(who I had mentioned in a previous entry on here)

going thru a divorce. I have been down to LA twice in the last month to try and be there for her.

I feel as each day brings her into a better place, but also in being there I am facing some demons of my own. It is funny how seeing someone else's struggles push your own to the surface.

So, I am putting all my fears, smiles and everything in between into words to resolve them.

Some might make it onto this blog, but others will stay tucked away in my little black book.