There are ever so many facets to us human beings. We are so complex that there are few people in our lives that see us in our entirety. Each person in our life sees the portions we let them see, even if we are not aware that we are doing it. Your parents view you in one way, while your significant other sees a completely different aspect of your personality and life. I have friends that I consider myself very close with, but at the same time know that when I am upset about something they will not be the ones I call. While I am close to both my parents,
(in very different ways)
I am sure there are things we will never discuss that I would amongst my friends.
When I sat down thinking about this the other evening I came to a conclusion. For all the emotion I share with the world, I hold quite a bit in. One of my basic tenets of life is that I won't say something behind some one's back that I would not be willing to say to their face. From this comes the habit of occasionally swallowing a thought. Lest it sound as if I am being judgemental, trust me I am harder upon myself than I ever would be to another person.
Due to this over the years I have let some of my friends slide to the sidelines of my life. The reason for this is there is only so much you can give and I grew tired of being the person who made the majority of effort. Some were the toxic friends that never saw that it could & should be a two way street when it comes to friendship. Some were just friends that time showed us to not have much in common other than proximity. I let myself be ok with losing a friend who didn't care enough about me to wonder how things were in my life or who always needed something; be it money or a ride somewhere, but could never return the favor.
I don't ask for much, I just want back from the world what I put into it. I don't require pretty presents or lavish meals out. I require honesty, respect and loyalty...all of which I will give back to you tenfold. I treasure the friends I have keep in my life, some are old friends who know all my silly hs dramas. Some are people I met college or work that helped shape me into the person I am today. Some are friends I met in strange places or from other friends who are no longer in my life. All of them would hold my hand during medical testing as quick as they would hold my hair back while I got sick. They see enough of me to love me, thus making me love myself more. In the eyes of my friends I see the person they see...and it makes me a better person. So, I will keep getting to know the various aspects of myself from the eyes of those in my life.