In looking at old pictures the other day I came to the conclusion that I have finally accepted myself for the person that I am. I am no longer looking for approval of those around me, though don't get me wrong it is quite nice to get from time to time. However, I finally feel like my life is finally coming together a bit. This comes from having it shaken up in many ways in the past year. Changes with friends, job and family made me see that it truly is what you make of it. If life gives you lemons make lemonade (add vodka & it is even better) as the saying goes. This is not to say my life is perfect, for there are many things that could improve...and I hope do! No one is ever completely happy or satisfied, we as humans are always wanting more. It is part of our basic nature. I would love to weigh less, have more time (and money) to see friends out of state, go to the shows I want and do all of the things to my house I always say I will someday.
Having said that, I love where I live, my job is keeping the roof of my little corner of Shangri-la over my head. The government cheese fills in what the job does not for now. I manage to pay all of my bills each month somehow & still go to happy hour with friends now & again. I am starting to be more comfortable in my skin. I don't love my flaws (as I see them) though they make me the person I am. If my friends think I am cool, the I must be right? I treat others with more importance than I do myself, which is something I am working on. The biggest part of this is that I am learning to value myself for the very things that I once felt were flaws.
We make our choices in life and there is no point in second guessing yourself. You make those choices based on the knowledge you have at the time and yes another choice could have put you in a very different place, but you made this choice...accept & move forward. Love yourself for the amazing person you are...we all are that amazing person to someone...if you are really lucky you are amazing to a lot of someones.