Saturday, April 11, 2009

bleh

Do you ever have those days where you just feel bleh? I do have some cause for it today with what is going on with my gram, but that is not it. I got that news last night and when I got home wanted to call and talk to someone. However, it was a Friday eve. For my local friends this means Farmer's market, drinks and fun. For my friends south of here in "cities" it means the end of a long work week and time with family. So, being the good friend I didn't call any of them and bring them down. Now by no means am I saying that they wouldn't have talked to me, because every single one of those people would pick up the phone if I really needed them. It is that I think for the first time in a long time I missed having that significant other to sit with me and tell me things were going to be ok. I wanted a good cuddle on the couch with a loved one. Sadly this is not something I have right now.
Got some sweet words of support from friends via FB and talked to my brother, mom and dad today which makes me feel quite a bit better...really. I guess it is just everything has been so hard lately. At some point isn't it supposed to get easier? When you are little being an adult seems like ever so much fun. No one telling you what to do, where to go or anything. Reality is showing me that there is fun, but it comes along with stress, money worries and serious omg, what am I doing with my life moments. I am thankful for all I have, I have had worse times in recent months & there is a light (far away) at the end of the tunnel. I just want a carefree life like when I was little. A life where when you fell down your loved ones picked you up, dusted you off and gave you a hug to make it all better. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I am done with work for the day and have no pressing concerns that I need to leave my house for so I can sit, be mellow and think that tomorrow will surely be better!

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