Wednesday, July 15, 2009

oh I have words...

I have a lot of words for you, but let's start of with just one.
That is what you did right to my face.
I asked you a question and expected an honest answer, after all haven't we been friends for long enough that we would share it all, the good and the bad? Well, guess I was wrong on many levels.
Lots of people in my life are trying to make excuses for how and why you are doing what you are doing. I have none for you. I love you and you will always be in my heart, but that doesn't change how I am feeling right now.
I am mad.
I am hurt.
I want to know so many things.
Did you think I would judge you?
Did you know on some level that what you were doing was not entirely good in the eyes of others?
I do not know...nor to be honest do I care.
You have made me look at our whole long friendship and wonder if there was ever the depth that I thought there was. Do you even know how deeply you have hurt me?
The stupid tears I have shed for you and the loss of our relationship.
I would love to say I am done, but I can't stop caring about you.
Do I love you? Yes.
Do I respect you right now? No.
Will we make it through this? I don't know.
I hope the best for you. I wish you happiness and joy in all aspects of your life.
I can't thank you enough for all of our good times and I curse you for the bad.
I could say more, but what is the point.
I have shed my tears, vented my anger and you were not there for any of it.

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