So, in my massive cleaning undertaking I found a huge amount of photos from the past decade. I worked at the same restaurant job for most of it, 2002-2008, and had some amazing times that were over shadowed by how bad it was at the end. Finding these pics made me remember the better times, the fabulous people I met through there and the fun experiences.

I posted almost 200 pics on FB as many of my old crew is on there & I felt they would enjoy it also...and they did.

The funniest thing to come of it for me though was having a couple of people ask me to take off a certain pic of them as they felt they looked fat or ugly in it. Got to say while I did that for them, if I did that with every pic of me from the past 2 decades I did not like

there might be about 5 pics total.

Why is it that we are never satisfied with ourselves. We always want to be skinnier, have a better job, nicer house etc.

I am trying to live in the now. Be happy with the things I have, including this body of mine. Is it in the best shape it could be? no. Am I working on making it better, thus me better by being a healthier, and possibly happier me? yes.

One thing I will say is that regardless of what I weighed in these pics I found, I was happy in them. That means more to me at this point in my life than anything else so I am letting go of all the rest!

out damn spot

I am taking today to do a major house cleaning. Opened up the windows to let the sun in, cranked up some tunes and dug in. At a stopping point right now due to there being a load in both the washer & dryer at the moment so thought I'd pop off a lil blog action, go me.

It is always amazing to me how when you are doing a big clean like this your house can look even worse as you do it. I mean currently I have bedding piled on my couch, clothes all over the bed and luggage from my trip last month waiting to be put away in the closet.

If I had to walk away right now for any reason I would be quite embarrassed for anyone else to see this place!

On the positive side of things I do see the light at the end of this cleaning tunnel. I have 3 bags of stuff I want to donate sitting by my front door and have a box of books ready to go out in the post today, which means less in Mt. TBR.

I will get fresh sheets to sleep on this eve and the smell that comes from a clean home after my ever so long 4 hour shift at work.

silver and gold

There is a saying about friends being either silver or gold, new or old. I have a friend that is a huge part of my life as she has been a part of it for so long. We went through first kisses, driving & first cars, high school with all of it's dramas, boys, clothing fads, drinks, graduation, college, marriage and babies (those the last two were all her!)
There are have been great times and some that were hard. We always come through it all stronger than ever. I just drove the 5 hour distance between us for one last day of spending time just the two of us as within 2 weeks she is moving out of state. It meant the world to me to get some time for us to just be together, no big party or night out of drinking. We sat on the couch went shopping and to the beach, ate, talked and just were there enjoying each other's company.
I know that while we will not be able to see each other as often, we have a special bond which will not disappear with even more distance being put between us.
I love my sweet cmg and will start saving my pennies for a visit to the "wilds" of Montana.

falling to pieces

I thought the whole having your body fall to pieces thing happened when you got older, like 50 older not 38! This has been a strange 6 months for me medically. While I have always had a bout of bronchitis or strep each year, from childhood on...it is kind of my norm this year it kicked in hard. In the last 6 months though I have had in the following order; kidney infection, kidney infection, ovarian cyst, bronchitis then damage to my chest wall from coughing so much while having said bronchitis, now I managed to jack up my shoulder somehow and still have a cough after weeks of meds and rest.

I mean really? What the chatta? I am taking multi-vitamins again for the first time in years, also melatonin for sleeping better.

(which is AMAZING, I mean I am actually sleeping a full 7-8 hours each night...crazy talk)

Also my diet is much more on track than in previous times, but yet my body still has issues and is trying to fall apart...well ain't gonna happen man. I am bound and determined to have this be my year of treating this body of mine better & it needs to return the favor!

um, yeah

so I basically suck at being online enough to blog on a regular basis...I have 4 half finished blogs saved from the past month and with all my free time of late have been working on making them complete.
Why do I have so much free time you ask? oh well it has to do with not taking care of myself enough and getting much sicker than a person needs to. I am looking at a 6 week period of healing and under orders to rest as much as possible. um, we shall see how that works for me.

friends come and go

I have been sad this past month since I got news that my best friend was moving out of state.
I know we will still talk on the phone & touch base through the lovely social media of facebook, but it is still a big change. She is moving to Montana of all places...and I do get why. Finances, family and a need for change. All valid and to be honest I left first and shouldn't be upset that she is following my lead of change. I never gave any thought to my friends when I made my choices to move, be it from where I live now to go back to San Diego for college or my decision to return here after college.
I know that I will make the effort to go see her, it is just that the ease of seeing her is being taken away. She currently lives in the town in which we went to hs, where my mom still lives. I could combine seeing my family and hers in one trip that was a reasonable drive to do.
I will be going down to see her for one last hurrah sometime in the next month before the big move. A chance to run around to some of our fave places and make even more lasting & lovely memories. I will savor those as things from this point on will change, only the future will tell what lies ahead, but I know that she will remain in it although much further away.

new year new start

I plan on focusing in on making me into a better person this year.

Now this is not about resolutions, such as losing weight or getting a better job or out of debt....though these things might occur.

Rather it is about finding what makes me a happier, better person.

I want to look at the glass as half full, not half empty.

I want to feel as if I am the one in control of my life, not others.

I want friends and family around me that support me, helps me celebrate all of the good in my life & theirs. and gives a hand or shoulder in the bad times.

I wish for brighter times and good memories to come from them.

I wish this for myself and those I love surrounding me.

I plan on making changes that might make some around me question, however it is my life to live and I want it to be the best one I can be living.

It is time to purge myself of the people who doubt me or bring me down.

Purging my house of items that have no use or just not used is also in the cards.

Reading many of the books upon my shelves and working on my garden are on this list also.

So many things and so much time to attempt them....