Headed down to San Diego to celebrate my mom's 65th birthday (where does the time go?)
It seems quite strange to go south and not have my bestie to stop and see. I am looking forward to a special day with my mom though. Doing a mini version of Monterey since neither of us could afford the getaway to there right now I am trying my best to re create it! Did a lovely dinner at Benihana this eve ( a place we do when we go to Monterey) and tomorrow it is off to Scripps Aquarium in La Jolla before doing lunch at Monterey Bay Canner's at Oceanside Harbor. Should be fun...might have pics to follow.

happy day

On this day 39 years ago one of my best friends was born. We have been through so very much over the years and I am truly blessed to have her in my life, good times and bad! Wishing my sweet cmg the happiest of happy days! I love you crazy girl...

OK, so I suck at this whole blogging thing. I do think of lots to say, but find it hard for myself to get to the computer to do it as I am just so busy actually living my crazy life.
This past 3 months has been filled with changes. I have experienced loss of a family member, moved 2 times, travelled to visit family out of state and worked to afford all of it.
I am loving my new place. It has a sense of peacefulness which I love. The location being so close to downtown was not a big draw when I looked at the place, but has become a major plus. ^ blocks to the library, 3 to my bank and 5 to my job...plus super close to a variety of food and adult beverage choices!
Now, if I could just get completely unpacked and organized my life would be amazing...one box at a time, day by day!

letting go

I haven't been writing much on this blog. My life has been a bit crazy, quite a bit of which I hadn't shared though I have blogged, I did not post them. I needed some time to process things on my own. I tend to withdraw a little bit when I am going through major changes...and I think moving after 13 years falls within that category!

My focus of late has been to try and make a better balance within my life. I am eating healthier, working out more and trying to spend time with all of my friends.

Going to look at some apartments today to see what my money will bring me...

pressure...

Ok, so it here...

the moment where I break down

I knew it was coming, but it really hit me hard today.

I went to drive out of Avila to head to my temporary housing, but was going to need to come back tomorrow to get the tail end of my stuff. It is Beer Fest here in town in addition to being Memorial Day weekend. This means madness of people, young drunken college kids, families and escapees from the central Valley areas. This year seemed worse than previous years in the crunch of people and cars in that it took me 15 minutes to get from my house to the freeway. Gave me serious flashbacks to the year Unocal put on fireworks on the 3rd of July...madness!

So, in my head I was thinking...ok, I will never have to deal with this again.

Then it hit me, I will NEVER have to do this again. I cried for the entire drive home.

I know deep down that I will come out of this experience in a better place, but the actual process of it is really hitting me hard emotionally. Trying to focus on my positive aspects, but the idea of change is always more fun than the reality of it!

sad...

Knowing all I know about this world means nothing when I lose someone dear to me in my life. My sweet uncle passed away today, after a period of illness, but years of health problems. I love that I have great memories of him, as he was an awesome man. A good uncle, brother, son, father, husband who touched many lives. He will be missed. My sadness comes not only from my own feeling of loss, but also seeing my father lose his baby brother. I wish for a better place for Lee where ever he is now, hopefully keeping an eye on his loved ones from there.

may day may day

So it is the first of May, otherwise known as May Day in some countries and religions.

For me it is the start of a long and stressful month full of changes. I will be leaving my home of 13 years this month and have yet to figure out just where I am going next...

I am trying to embrace all of the good things to come out of this, but not going to lie I have been filled with anxiety over not knowing where these changes will be taking me.